Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NIV): 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Romans 12:5 (CEB): In the same way, though there are many of us, we are one body in Christ, and individually we belong to each other.
From the very first line, the Eagles managed to capture the independent spirit so many of us wear like a badge of honor in the song Desperado. A melancholy piano intro provides the opening for Don Henley’s lead vocal inviting the listener into a conversation so many of us have longed to have with those in our own circle. We probably know someone who seemingly walks through this world without need or desire for anyone’s assistance or approval. Maybe that’s you. In a world where that independence is often celebrated at the expense of the people who are shut off from ever getting closer, this song provides a fresh perspective to those who only want to draw near to the ones they know and love.
One of the most difficult questions many of us will ever be asked is, “can I help you?” It’s difficult for many because answering yes requires an acknowledgment that we need help. Needing help for many feels like defeat. It feels…weak. Unfortunately for a lot of us defeat is the same as failure. Nobody likes to fail and nobody likes a failure. But does failing mean we are failures?
Accepting, much less seeking help seen as a weakness makes sense when you think about the world we live in. We are conditioned and encouraged to promote, even celebrate our independence. We have entire sections of bookstores dedicated to what else, SELF help. There are countless television programs, blogs, books, and podcasts on DIY…do it YOURSELF. There is an entire industry built on the idea of helping yourself. Independence and self-sufficiency are not only goals, but widely celebrated and seen as part of the maturing process throughout our culture. From the time we are toddlers when we are given our own room, to walking then driving ourselves to school and eventually moving out of our parents’ home to support ourselves, every mark of forward progress is measured to some extent by our ability to make it through this world on our own. And it all happens within a couple decades of taking our first breath.
Is all that move toward independence such a bad thing? Isn’t being independent and self-sufficient kind of the point? Phrases like “make your own way,” “if you want it done right, do it yourself,” and of course Nike famously imploring us all to “Just Do It” suggests forging our own way is indeed the measure of success. But, like most things in life, it kind of depends on the perspective. We can be independent. We should seek to support ourselves without becoming an undue burden on others when and where we are able. Most people even agree we should seek to assist others who are in need. And here lies the rub for most of us; we are more than willing to assist but cannot imagine seeking much less accepting assistance from others. That’s a problem. Why is that?
We each have unique gifts and talents. Each one of us is uniquely and divinely created specifically to be a beautiful one-of-a-kind creation designed with a purpose only fulfilled by us as individuals. This means we each have something to contribute to this planet we are all floating around on that nobody else can do quite like their neighbor. You are one of a kind for a reason and despite all the flaws and imperfections you possess, the world awaits you and your gift to be applied in a way only you can do. How do you do that? Well, by working with others of course! We were never meant to be alone, much less accomplish meaningful things in this world on our own. When God made man, He created a companion because, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
It's easy to think of “church” as being a big building where people go to sing, pray, raise money for orphans, and drink a lot of coffee. But Jesus set out to build His church made of people. It’s built with the lady ringing you up at the grocery, the guy aligning the front end on your car, your veterinarian, plumber, little league umpire, tax lawyer, poet, and countless others we encounter in our day. It’s you. It’s the people who are called to do the work of Jesus. We are all part of His church and we bring together our collective unique gifts and talents for a common purpose. Those unique gifts you were given were meant to assist others in this world. And the gifts your neighbor has were given to him or her for the same reason, to assist others…including you.
So what gets in the way? It can all be boiled down to fear and pride, neither of which are characteristics of the God we serve. We avoid asking for help out of fear of rejection or inconveniencing others. We fear being labeled weak, selfish, inconsiderate, incompetent, lazy, or worse. We are none of those things. We are humans who are flawed. God knows this and fortunately equips us with the ability to be just what the other needs when we find ourselves alone with no way forward. You don’t have to walk through this world all alone. A God who loves you has seen to it. Look around, someone needs you specifically. You won’t have to look far. And if you are feeling unequipped to handle whatever life has thrown at you, ask God to bring the right person at the right time into your presence. You likely will not have to wait long or look far for that either.